The Java community retaliates – "PHP is …"

Ok, it’s time to let the people of #java on Ef-net let us know what they thought of PHP in the period from July to December 2005 (read: yes, I’ve done a grep -iH “php is” on my #java irclogs). Of course, we all know the PHP developers had strong opinions on Java, so this will be interesting.

< @Tenchi> php is terd < @aut> straight php is faster than using php to transform xml < waz> don’t forget “PHP is slow!” < pr3d4t0r> waz: “PHP is slow! Use Perl.” < AstroIvan> and php is slow < jjava> and php is slow < tomh> so php is faster when you dont use clusters? < @joeblowgt> and php is fine for many types of websites < @jwzrd> BoZo, no you are not. Php is not something you program. < @jwzrd> deigo, php isn’t coding < @top^> a bunch of if statements? now that’s why php is not java < SouljaGoD> PHP is fairly easy for this kind of thing < mele> php is nice ;) < pr3d4t0r> kinabalu: PHP is like a gun. < mele> Tenchi: php is fun :) < @GnarlyBob> php is more scalable < eth-> you think PHP is understandable? hahaa < @boxed> you know, php is pretty much like java except with a chaotic standard library and a billion $’s thrown randomly in the code < jjava> but php is able to defy gravity < @jwzrd> hahaha php is such a configuration shithole < @jwzrd> PHP isn’t allowed < Jippi> i know – php5 got oop as a ‘bonus’ hehe.. php isnt orignally a oop language < @jwzrd> PHP is annoying though :) < CnfsdKid> php is forever horrible. < CnfsdKid> DeanC: php is retarded. < Number-6> php is quite retarded. < tonicxt> Php is nice as it has build in user-input sanitization automatically enabled on all user-input -=- < CnfsdKid> geerd: maybe php is more your style. < gripe> geerd: php is for semi-literate high school kids to write blogs with < porc> php is simply not an enterprise class language < geerd> and PHP is for the web, you dont listen for any keys Well, we see they have humor; “PHP is slow, use Perl” is of course a reference to the idiotic “Java is slow, C is better” which these developers hear too often. So, they throw it over to the PHP community, where it, of course, is just is stupid.

Also, notice how few opinions about PHP in #java there are compared to the number of opinions on Java in #PHP in the same time period; Java coders are too cool to care about PHP. I mean; they’re coding Java, enterprise applications. They don’t kid around. It’s real OO, not “We kind of .. uhh, well, got some OO in the latest PHP5 release guys, uuh..” (Zend).

In case you’re wondering I consider myself a Java developer foremost, and a PHP developer second ;) .. but “times, they are a-changin’” as Bob Dylan sings.